Coulibaly’s really landed us in the shit

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 22.31.28He’s left us in the lurch!

Dalrymple on the dark humour in a newspaper report on a terrorist killer

Amedy Coulibaly was a professionnel de la délinquance and an armed-robber-cum-racketeer who, Dalrymple writes,

found Islamic extremism much to his liking.

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 22.33.20Preparing for his attack, reports the Paris daily the Monde (‘Coulibaly et ses sous-traitants’, link here — article on page 3), Coulibaly demanded that a former rapper who owed him €30,000 repay the money because he needed it urgently. The ex-rapper told the police:

J’ai naïvement pensé aux fêtes de fin d’année.

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 22.34.45But Coulibaly wasn’t going on holiday to somewhere earthly like Rio de Janeiro or Las Vegas or Bangkok. There would be houris all right, thousands of them as his reward, but they wouldn’t be in this world. He needed the cash

pour acheter des armes, une voiture et tout son équipement de guerre: gilets pare-balles, bombes lacrymogènes, mais aussi couteaux, Taser, gants.

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 07.49.35He sub-contracted the procuring of these items to a jobless man, Willy P., who undertook to carry out the purchasing duties because ‘sinon, c’était des menaces‘, Coulibaly enjoying, writes Dalrymple,

much respect in the area. By respect, of course, was meant fear.

Willy P. told the police:

Je savais que c’était un braqueur, qu’il faisait dans le stupéfiant. C’est pour ça que je ne me suis pas inquiété lorsqu’il m’a demandé toutes les choses. Je pensais qu’il allait faire un gofast ou un braquage de gofast.

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 22.38.05A simple, straightforward, quotidian drug deal. Which is why Willy P. wasn’t worried. Or an ordinary, workaday, plain vanilla robbery. Perfectly respectable, unexceptionable activities. Routine, commonplace, bread-and-butter stuff in today’s France. In other words, writes Dalrymple,

Willy P. thought the weapons he was buying for Coulibaly were for everyday, normal, uncontentious use.

An associate of Willy P., Tonino G., backed him up on this. Tonino G. did not think it un truc de ouf to be asked to buy such prosaic, centime-a-dozen, even trivial, items. This is normal, daily life. Tonino G. told the police:

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 22.39.59C’est pas, comment dire, quelque chose qui me paraît pas normal.

So you can imagine the reaction of Willy P. and his associates when they saw on TV that it was Coulibaly who had murderously attacked the kosher store. They felt they were justified in feeling that they had been put, a mite unreasonably, in an (albeit mildly) embarrassing and slightly difficult position. They were, after all, being interviewed by the police, and quite rightly the police do not normally interest themselves in relatively trivial matters such as armed robbery or drug dealing.

Willy P. and his associates said to themselves:

Coulibaly avait mis dans la merde.

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