Getting to see a GP is a labour of Hercules

Securing a five-minute slot with a family doctor in Britain’s Soviet-style health system is extremely difficult. It is necessary, Dalrymple explains, for the patient

to lie or exaggerate. He must become expert at doing so.

If you are lucky enough to be granted an appointment, for three weeks’ time,

it is awarded as if it were a minor decoration — an OBE, say, for exceptional persistence. You have joined the privileged few. You should be proud and grateful.

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