Category Archives: Cameron, David

Britain’s election disaster

Lynton Crosby: political engineer

Winner: political engineer Lynton Crosby

The worst possible outcome for the Greece of the North Sea

Examining the results of the 2015 UK general election, Dalrymple notes that now,

to all Britain’s intractable problems — low productivity, abysmal cultural level, addiction to debt — have been added political instability and the prospect of chaos.

The poll, he writes, was both one of the most important, and one of the most boring, for many years.

It was important because

Winner: Nicola Sturgeon resembles an efficient and dedicated but bossy and unpleasant schoolmistress

Winner: Nicola Sturgeon resembles an efficient and dedicated but bossy and unpleasant schoolmistress

it destroyed Britain’s reputation for political stability. This is of enormous significance for a country that is so heavily dependent on financial services, having little else to offer the world, for money doesn’t like political turmoil. Half a trillion dollars has left and might not come back.

It was boring because

all the candidates were boring. Apart from Nicola Sturgeon, who looked like an efficient and dedicated but bossy and unpleasant schoolmistress, all the three main candidates contrived to look the same. They had smooth, characterless faces and often eschewed [neck-] ties for fear of intimidating with smartness the slobs and slatterns who are one of the country’s largest constituencies.

Loser

Loser: conflict and chaos are coming

The candidates looked less like people than

products designed by political engineers.

Neither David Cameron nor Nick Clegg nor Ed Miliband ever cracked a joke,

at least not knowingly. No one in Britain can tell any longer the difference between earnestness and seriousness. A joke will only get you into trouble — someone will take it literally and be offended. It is best not to make one, even if you are capable of it, which in these three cases is doubtful.

Screen Shot 2015-05-08 at 23.59.36Cameron remains prime minister, but that is

not the same thing as political stability.

Britain’s first-past-the-post electoral system

Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 11.19.59was workable and not grotesquely unfair when there were two overwhelmingly preponderant parties, but with the balkanisation of the political scene, the system is unworkable. The British now live in an unrepresentative democracy which produces gross distortions in parliament.

3.9m votes = 1 seat; 1.4m votes = 56 seats

Screen Shot 2015-05-08 at 23.58.23The biggest swing was to the UK Independence Party. It received 12.6% of the votes and one seat, compared with the Scottish National Party’s 4.7% of the votes and 56 seats. Dalrymple concludes:

No system that produces such a result can retain its legitimacy.

The system has given the SNP a near-monopoly of Scottish seats, so that

Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 00.04.41the representation of Scotland in parliament would be worthy of the results of a Soviet election.

Moreover, for as long as the threat of Scottish independence remains,

stability cannot return to Britain. Chaos and conflict are just around the corner.

Screen Shot 2015-05-03 at 08.18.12Britain’s one

indisputably successful and world-beating economic activity [apart from binge-drinking], namely financial skulduggery, might contract or collapse, because such skulduggery needs an environment of political stability.

Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 10.34.06Screen Shot 2015-05-09 at 23.18.10

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No escape from the squalor of politics

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 07.55.29Britain’s prime minister, writes Dalrymple,

is Focus Group Man made flesh. This is not altogether surprising since his only known employment, other than politician, was in public relations. He appears not to know what to think until he has consulted a variety of gauges of public opinion, and then he announces his own opinion as if from deep conviction.

Dalrymple supposes that it is

naïve to want politicians to believe in something and to say what they mean. When you come to think of it, those who have done so have probably done more damage than the equivocators.

The need for antiCameron prophylaxis

Protect yourself from this shyster politician!

Protect yourselves from political syphilis!

David Cameron, arguably the worst British prime minister since Edward Heath, cannot, says Dalrymple,

see a bad idea without embracing it with what he imagines is vote-getting fervour.

Cameron’s latest brainwave is to endorse a scheme

to teach entrepreneurialism and business-mindedness to schoolchildren from the age of five.

Dalrymple does not know whether to laugh or cry.

Ours will be the first society in which eight-year-old children will find out, in formal lessons, how to put on a condom and how important it is to make a profit, but not how to read.

Cameron is indeed a political chancre. Right-thinking people have long known this. But what is entrepreneurialism, when you come to think about it? Dalrymple offers this view:

Entrepreneurialism—much of it good, some of it very bad—is what happens when nothing prevents it from happening. Unfortunately the philosophy of most modern governments, including Mr Cameron’s, is dedicated to preventing it from happening.

A mollusc’s backbone, a jackal’s morals

'Nothing for [the British prime minister] Cameron is a ­matter of principle, only of advantage, and short-term advantage at that, his sole discernible goal being that of maintaining himself in power'

‘Nothing for Cameron is a ­matter of principle, only of advantage, and short-term advantage at that, his sole discernible goal being that of maintaining himself in power’

The Cameron blancmange easily moulds itself to any shape going

Thatcher's successor-but-one, Blair, with the cunning of the born swindler, seized his chance and created a loyal, corrupt, self-seeking nomenklatura that remains extremely influential and easily able to outwit the blancmange-like  Cameron, who moulds himself to any shape going

‘Thatcher’s successor-but-one, Blair, with the cunning of the born swindler, seized his chance and created a loyal, corrupt, self-seeking nomenklatura that remains extremely influential and easily able to outwit the blancmange-like Cameron, who moulds himself to any shape going’

The faintly disgusting slipperiness of the British prime minister

Screen Shot 2014-03-03 at 00.39.04

David Cameron: trail of slime

Physiognomy, writes Dalrymple,

is an inexact science, but it is not so inexact that you cannot read the bemused feebleness [on being confronted with the Ukraine débâcle] on the faces of people such as Van Rompuy, Hollande, and Cameron, the latter so moistly smooth and characterless that it looks as though it would disappear leaving a trail of slime if caught in the rain.

Doctrinal coherence and incoherence

Screen Shot 2013-04-11 at 00.37.23An exercise in formulating the respective political philosophies of John Major, Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Tony Blair would be a bit like ‘trying to catch a cloud with a butterfly net,’ says Dalrymple. Not so in the case of Margaret Thatcher. But, observes Dalrymple,

coherent political conviction or doctrine does not necessarily lead to coherent practical political action.