Category Archives: church (with kitchenette)

The Kitchenette of England

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 09.06.31Dalrymple visits a kitchenette (K. of E. denomination), formerly a church, and notes the following useful features:

  • several stacks of modern, red-seated, metal-framed chairs piled in the nave
  • many modern cloth hangings, suspended from every pillar
  • notices posted everywhere. And on every step, warnings, affixed with Sellotape, to mind your step. (In K. of E. doctrine, health & safety has replaced faith and hope)
  • a partition in the north aisle that would not have been out of place at Stansted airport, being of grey glass and stainless steel. Inside the partition, a kitchenette, intended as a permanent fixture

The kitchenette. Such, writes Dalrymple, is modern England’s contribution to church architecture.

Modern England’s contribution to sacred architecture

The bishop as rendered by Michael ffolkes

Spacely-Trellis by ffolkes

The church-cum-kitchenette. Dr Spacely-Trellis, the go-ahead Bishop of Bevindon, as chronicled by Michael Wharton (‘Peter Simple’), would greatly have approved of this innovation.