Category Archives: hair

One of the greatest national emergencies of our time

Screen Shot 2016-07-10 at 23.27.26Dalrymple reports that the baldness of Wayne Rooney, the footballer, is returning,

despite the many thousands of pounds that he has spent on hair transplantation.

Dalrymple comments:

As Tony Blair said so memorably at the outset of his career as prime minister, we are a young country. Can we seriously afford to have a balding man playing for our national team? Not, of course, that it is very good at what it does.

Rooney ruefully touches the hair of a fellow player in the national team after England's defeat at the hands of Iceland (population 330,000) at the 2016 UEFA European Championship

A rueful Rooney, who suffers from alopecia, enviously examines the full head of hair of a fellow national squad member after England’s defeat at the hands of Iceland (population 330,000, about that of the single English city of Coventry) at the 2016 UEFA European Championship

Enigma of the Donald’s hair

img_2958Dalrymple addresses one of the most pressing questions of the day, namely

the nature of Donald Trump’s hair.

He asks:

Is it real, is it natural, is it implanted, is it a toupée, what exactly is it?

He consults a barber, who indicates that

in all his career he has never seen anything remotely like it. He does not believe that it has come about by any of the usual ways of cultivating or dressing hair.

Dalrymple’s view is that the Donald’s coiffure is

so bad, it’s good.

Trump’s hair is his

logo, as recognisable as that of, say, Coca-Cola. He is instantly identifiable even from a photo taken of the back or top of his head, without any other context or visual clue.

No one

goes to a barber’s and discusses Marco Rubio’s or Bernie Sanders’ hair, though I suppose you might discuss Mrs Clinton’s face in a plastic surgery clinic.

Grey-haired and hard up

Screen Shot 2015-08-27 at 05.18.00


In Things not generally known by John Timbs, Dalrymple learns that during cholera visitations, up to a fifth of the medical men employed die. Dalrymple comments:

True officers lead from the front.

Dalrymple notes also that there is in the book a discussion of how financial losses, and the threat of further losses, give you grey hairs. Timbs explains:

A medical man in London, less than twenty years ago, under the fear of bankruptcy, had his dark hair so changed in the same period that his friends failed to recognise him; but the colour in this instance returned, as his worldly prospects revived.