Category Archives: health and safety

The Kitchenette of England

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 09.06.31Dalrymple visits a kitchenette (K. of E. denomination), formerly a church, and notes the following useful features:

  • several stacks of modern, red-seated, metal-framed chairs piled in the nave
  • many modern cloth hangings, suspended from every pillar
  • notices posted everywhere. And on every step, warnings, affixed with Sellotape, to mind your step. (In K. of E. doctrine, health & safety has replaced faith and hope)
  • a partition in the north aisle that would not have been out of place at Stansted airport, being of grey glass and stainless steel. Inside the partition, a kitchenette, intended as a permanent fixture

The kitchenette. Such, writes Dalrymple, is modern England’s contribution to church architecture.

The Church of England (Bolshevik)

Screen Shot 2015-05-26 at 07.56.41Aesthetic vandalism

There is hardly a beautiful church in the country, writes Dalrymple,

whose interior the Church of England has not wrecked by its pursuit of false gods. If ever a Bolshevik government were to come to power it would find its work of turning churches into museums of religion and atheism half-done.

Come into the cathedral, children. We've cleared away all that boring religious stuff to make it more relevant to you

Suffer the little yobs to come into the cathedral: we’ve cleared away all that boring religious stuff to make it more relevant to them

Visual desecration

In Winchester cathedral, for example, you will find

  • many dreadful modern artworks
  • stacks of steel chairs and other things one expects to find in a furniture warehouse
  • many brightly-coloured notices
  • a large cardboard cutout of a dinosaur
  • a prominent notice warning people to watch their step at the entrance to a side-chapel

The desecration is

indicative of a loss of confidence, of faith. There is nothing dedicated to the glory of God because there is no God.

I don't care what you say; those side-chapels are lethal

I don’t care what you say, those side-chapels are lethal

Authors of the barbarism

Among the many notices is one

informing visitors who is in the cathedral hierarchy, just as hospitals put up notices with photos of the most important people in the hospital (Director of Strategic Planning, Director of Diversity, Director of Quality Assurance, etc.)

Who is it exactly who presides over this aesthetic barbarism?

The aesthetic barbarism is presided over by the bishop, Dr Spacely-Trellis

Thus we may know who presides over

this mess, this aesthetic barbarism.

It is, of course, of a piece with what has been done to Winchester as a whole by the stupid, barbaric city council

in concert with the crudest commercial interests.

I don’t care what you say, those ancient monuments are dangerous

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 18.44.43Lethal Tintern Abbey

Dalrymple reports that a notice at Tintern Abbey in Monmouthshire informs visitors that ancient monuments can be dangerous. The notice follows this information with

an enumeration of the various hazards consequent upon visiting ancient monuments, with little schematic pictures.

Visit these ruins at your own risk (after paying the entry fee of £5.50 or about $8)

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 18.57.17There were

‘uneven, steep or narrow stairs’, with a man falling backwards to the ground

or possibly dancing a jig. Another man

fell forwards down the ‘unexpected drops’, and a second man backwards because of ‘uneven and slippery surfaces’.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 19.01.23Exposure to eye injury

Then there was

a man who hit his head on the ‘low headroom’, clutching it in pain afterwards, and another man clutching his head because he had failed to take account of advice to ‘let your eyes adjust to the darkness‘.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 19.08.44These notices were all very well, and showed that at least some effort had been made, but Dalrymple asks:

Where were the defibrillators? I looked around and saw none. What of wheelchair access? Again none.

The Tintern Abbey tourist authorities have a great deal to answer for.

Death valley: don't go there

Death valley: don’t go there

Hypochondriasis viewed as a religio-philosophical problem

Dalrymple writes that the obsession with

health, safety and security (which have replaced faith, hope and charity as virtues) is not proportional, except possibly inversely, to risk or threat.

The hypochondriac

is not assuaged by statistics that show that his generation is the healthiest that has ever lived, or that death does not lurk in every food and every product and every situation. In the absence of a transcendent purpose in life, staving off death becomes all-important.

Le Malade imaginaire. Honoré Daumier, c. 1860-62. Philadelphia Museum of Art

Le Malade imaginaire. Honoré Daumier, c. 1860-62. Philadelphia Museum of Art