Category Archives: kitchenette

Greetings from Rotherham

Dalrymple spends some time in Rotherham,

a once-industrial town where the interior of the magnificent 15th-century Minster has been improved by the addition of a plywood-partitioned kitchenette to supply old ladies with tea.

He enters

a library in municipal buildings of almost comic hideousness. If I had more money than I have, I would institute an international prize to award to an architect who could design something uglier. I am sure that it would be a prize much competed for by members of the Royal Institute of British Architects, who would win it most years.

The library is

patronised largely by Kurdish refugees, many of whom seem to spend their day looking at the nearest to pornography that the municipal computers permit.

Rotherham public library

Rotherham bus station

Rotherham Minster interior (kitchenette available)

All Saints Church (Rotherham Minster)

The Kitchenette of England

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 09.06.31Dalrymple visits a kitchenette (K. of E. denomination), formerly a church, and notes the following useful features:

  • several stacks of modern, red-seated, metal-framed chairs piled in the nave
  • many modern cloth hangings, suspended from every pillar
  • notices posted everywhere. And on every step, warnings, affixed with Sellotape, to mind your step. (In K. of E. doctrine, health & safety has replaced faith and hope)
  • a partition in the north aisle that would not have been out of place at Stansted airport, being of grey glass and stainless steel. Inside the partition, a kitchenette, intended as a permanent fixture

The kitchenette. Such, writes Dalrymple, is modern England’s contribution to church architecture.

Modern England’s contribution to sacred architecture

The bishop as rendered by Michael ffolkes

Spacely-Trellis by ffolkes

The church-cum-kitchenette. Dr Spacely-Trellis, the go-ahead Bishop of Bevindon, as chronicled by Michael Wharton (‘Peter Simple’), would greatly have approved of this innovation.