Category Archives: police spokespersons

A frivolous, hopeless wreck of a police force

Nero’s fiddling was effective firefighting by comparison

Britain has by far the highest rate of violent crime in Western Europe, about five or six times that of Spain, for example. What is the response of the British police? Dalrymple writes that it is a fact of modern British life that

as the police appear more and more to resemble the paramilitary force of an authoritarian régime or military dictatorship, they become less and less effectual, whom only the law-abiding fear.

They seem to concentrate ever less on real police work, and

engage in parallel pseudo-activities, such as commiserating with the victims of the crimes they have failed to prevent and in the vast majority of cases make no attempt to solve.

He notes that a break-in during which an elderly person is murdered, for example,

is increasingly apt to be described as ‘a burglary that went tragically wrong’.

The British police love to

waste their time on the pseudo-pastoral care of those whom I suppose we must now call their clients.

Their primary object appears to be

work avoidance through work creation, a seemingly frantic activity — while never having to do anything that actually conduces to any conceivable end other than early retirement on the grounds of ill-health through stress. This is a world that is forever developing training packages, building and delivering capacity, etc., while actually doing nothing. Nero’s fiddling, by comparison, was effective firefighting – evidence-based, of course. It is always time for thinking outside the box, ringfencing a safe space for blue-skies thinking.

The function of the police is to express sympathy for the victims of crimes they aren’t going to solve

We're so sorry about what happened. It was senseless. How could it have gone so tragically wrong? This is what happens when souls are in the wrong place at the wrong time. We pray for you

We wish to voice our sympathy and show a bit of tenderness at this difficult time for you. We are full of pity and understanding for you and your family. The whole thing was, after all, senseless. How could it have gone so tragically wrong? This is what happens when members of the public find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, in this case your own home. We pray for you. Hope all this makes you feel better

Our thoughts today are with…

British police spokesmen, writes Dalrymple,

sound like Church of England clergymen without the upper-middle-class diction.

They are particularly moved by

  • senseless murder (sensible murder moving them to much less compassion)
  • robberies or burglaries that go tragically wrong
  • crimes that end in the deaths of persons who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Dalrymple’s advice to readers: always be in the right place at the right time

We're so sorry about what happened.