Category Archives: vomiting

Drunken retching as self-realisation

Screen Shot 2015-07-03 at 08.15.24The British, Dalrymple points out, are

despised throughout the world wherever they congregate in any numbers.

In any English town on any night of the week you will see

scenes of charmless vulgarity, in which thousands of scantily clad, lumpen sluts scream drunkenly, and men vomit proudly in the gutters.

It has been suggested that the English might be able to develop civilised Mediterranean café culture. Dalrymple remarks:

You might as well preach the comforts of the igloo and the tastiness of whale blubber to the Maasai.

Much of the British population believes

not only that it has no duty to control itself, but that it is harmful to try to do so. It believes that screaming, smashing bottles, vomiting, urinating against walls in full view of others, swaying drunkenly in the gutter, and hailing strangers to give them lifts, are essential to its health and emotional wellbeing, that drinking in this fashion is Aristotelian catharsis.

For the English,

there can be no higher accolade for a night out than that no trace of it remains in the brain. ‘Getting wasted’ and then behaving antisocially before passing out is the pinnacle of social life.

Just as the British government is so corrupt that it does not know that it is corrupt, so the British people

are so lacking in self-respect that they do not know that self-respect is desirable.

In England, drunkenness

to the point of brutish amnesia is regarded as admirable, a high achievement.

‘Vomiting quietly in the corner’

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A Merry Christmas to readers of this blog, who I hope will end up as merry — indeed, as hog-whimpering drunk — as I have happily become this festive season. This is a reproduction of De koning drinkt (1638; Royal Museums of Fine Arts of Belgium, Brussels). Jacob Jordaens is known, Dalrymple points out, ‘for his acres of canvas covered with depictions of unattractive fat flesh and Bacchanalian drinking scenes. These usually include someone vomiting quietly in the corner while an obese, grog-blossomed king wassails away in the middle of the picture’

Jordaens’ representation of spewing is very human, but the best part is the woman wiping the child’s fundament, presumably bemerded, though no trace of ordure is shown — unlike in, for instance, Dalí:

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Salvador Dalí, Jeu Lugubre (detail), 1929, private collection

The repellent, rat-arsed character of British youth

Screen Shot 2013-04-22 at 02.13.49The militantly moronic young, given over to hedonist fatuity, can express themselves only through vomiting

Dalrymple points to a fact that for the corrupt, slippery, hypocritical and dishonest British élite is inadmissable and yet which is understood and accepted (if often only inwardly) by all conscious, sane, adult, right-thinking people, namely that

as a human group, British youth is the least attractive in the world.

Dalrymple finds that the young people of Britain, land of ‘charmless decadence’, as he puts it, compare most unfavourably with their counterparts in Turkey:

Screen Shot 2013-04-22 at 02.44.41Turkish youth does not pride itself on its principled rejection of elegance, nor make itself uglier than it is. It  does not go in for extravagance of gesture, screaming and shouting, or drawing attention to itself; even poor or uneducated youths show themselves capable of refinement as to manners, intonation and bearing far superior to that among even the better-off youth of Britain.

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I’m bladdered. Now fuck off!

Young people in Anatolia do not regard getting drunk in herds as ‘psychotherapeutically beneficial’, explains Dalrymple, and the concept of ‘pre-loading’ does not exist among them. (A sign, many young Britons might say, of emotional costiveness and an unhealthily hidebound nature, the sort of thing that could lead to serious illness.)

Turkish youth

does not get lashed, smashed, bladdered, wasted, hammered, legless or rat-arsed, nor is it likely that it uses alcohol-induced amnesia as evidence that it must have had a good time. For British youth, oblivion is the highest possible pleasure; in its ‘culture’, vomiting is self-expression, and (what is worse) vice versa.

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‘Certain advantages’

As for young Turkish womenfolk, they

do not expose their white-puddingy thighs to the freezing winds of two or three in the morning. No one who has been to the centre of Newcastle on a Saturday night can fail to appreciate certain advantages to the burqa.